[Dwight]

A WOMAN'S PERFECT REVENGE
"Cash, check, or charge?" I asked, after folding the items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled in her purse for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a TV in her purse. " So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
AND THE BEST YET.... A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct isle. He comes back with a huge bag of cotton balls, a ball of string, and puts them on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?" He answers, "You see, it's like this. Yesterday I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; because it's sooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she!"