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Old 01-24-2004, 12:54 PM
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Dwight Dwight is offline
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Florence, AL
Cobra Make, Engine: RCR GT 40 & 1966 Fairlane 390 5 speed
Posts: 4,511
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Talking

The Reunion:
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could
buy
him a drink.
"Why, of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks, "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland, too! Let's have
another round to Ireland."
"Of course," says the second.
Curious, the first asks: "Where in Ireland?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it! Me too! Lets have another round of drinks to Dublin!"
"Of course" The second man can't help himself so he asks,"What school did
you attend?"
"Saint Mary's", replies the first man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is becoming unbelievable!!!" They say in union.
About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's up?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replied the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk
again!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Brothel:
Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel across
the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of
them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."
Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye,
'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation."
Then they saw a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen
said, "What a terrible pity... one of the girls must be quite ill."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lost at Sea:
Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a
dramatic escape from a burning freighter.While rummaging through the boat's
provisions, Patrick stumbled
across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed
the lamp vigorously.
To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie,
however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out,"Make the
entire ocean into Guinness Beer!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the
entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on
the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.
Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a
long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going, Patrick! Now we're going
to have to pee in the boat!"
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"Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon"
life's goal should be; "to be smarter than inanimate objects"
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