[SPEEDEAMON]

A middle-aged woman decides to have a face-lift for her birthday. She spends $5,000.00 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am? "About 32," was the reply.

"I'm exactly 47, " the woman says happily.

She then goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl, "How old do you think I am?"

"I guess about 29," the girl replies.

"Nope, I'm 47!"

Now she’s feeling really good about herself. While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man at the bus stop the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds a bit forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you exactly how old you are."

They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her. She finally blurts out, "Well, what the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very slowly... and carefully. After a couple of minutes she says, "Okay, okay, that's enough....how old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands and says, "Madam, you are 47."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, “That was incredible...how could you possibly know that from a feel of my breasts?”

The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."