[SPEEDEAMON]

A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the
cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business
Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of PlayGirl. And her husband is on the
back of the milk carton.

A WOMAN'S PERFECT REVENGE
"Cash, check, or charge?" I asked, after folding the items the woman
wished to purchase. As she fumbled in her purse for her wallet, I
noticed a remote control for a TV in her purse. "So, do you always
carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me
so I figured this was the most evil legal thing I could do to him."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you
can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair
out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

AND THE BEST YET..........
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The
sales girl notices him and asks if she can help him. He answers that he
is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the
correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"

He answers, "You see, it's like this. Yesterday I sent my wife to the store to get
me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and
some rolling papers; because it's soooooooooooo much cheaper. So, I
figure if I have to roll my own, so does she . ... !"