[John Owen]

Being the only normal person in this group I welcome you to the ACC. As svobud said, this is not much of a club, no president or treasurer, but we do have a housemother - Cracker - that tries to be a positive influence. The club rules are: never spin tires, no loud exhaust, no alcohol other than communion, and lastly, there are no rules. Since you have no daughter, do you have a sister that you could bring to the initiation? We meet in Piedmont Park at 2AM on Saturday, but you will have to know the secret grab to get in -