Senior Moments
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that
her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her
situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way" A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard," He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One
night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood."
She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
* * * * *
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one
fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the
second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
* * * * *
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say,
"Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping
her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
* * * * *
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was
falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you used to bite my neck" Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?", she asked.
"To get my teeth!"
Ron
