Tru,
Good one!
I thought you were going to say he opened the door and pushed her out.
THE NEW ARK..
In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was
now living in Goldendale, Washington, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six
months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
weeping in his yard . but no ark.
"Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!
Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have
changed I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to
the sea.
I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would
hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban
on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to
convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!
When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by
an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild
animals against their will As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark
until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the
Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons.
They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building
experience.
To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming
I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered
species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten
years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine,
and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean,
You're not going to destroy the world?".
"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
Ron
