So there once was a marine biologist. This biologist was involved in the study of dolphin intelligence and he had two subjects that were the prize of his research. These two subjects had allowed him to progress his research faster and more completely in the last few years than he had ever expected to get but there was one problem. Both dolphins were getting old and he was afraid their passing would mark the end of his research (thus causing him to have to go out and get a real job) and this was just not acceptable. He began searching for ways to keep his prize subjects healthy for as long as possible. As he was cruising an antique text of ancient sea lore he found an odd entry. It said if you fed dolphins freshly hatched seagull chicks the dolphins would live forever. Thinking there could be nothing to lose and everything to gain the biologist set out to find some seagull eggs. He called around and found a biologist in the next state who was studying seagulls who would give him two eggs for his experiment. He jumped in his car and headed down the road. Arriving at the lab he found a large incubator full of eggs just ready to hatch. He selected two large eggs, thanked the seagull researcher, jumped in his car and headed back up the road. As bad luck would have it he saw the eggs starting to hatch on the drive back. The text was very clear that the seagull chicks must be freshly hatched in order for this to work. He increased his speed hoping to make it in time. As he sped up the freeway he was half listening to the radio when it blared with the emergency broadcast tone. He turned the volume up to hear the announcer come on and report that some Lions had just escaped from the national zoo and that local residents should be on the lookout. At that moment the biologist saw a flash of yellow, felt the car make two large jarring bumps and then come to a halt at the side of the road. He looked back and saw the two lions lying dead in the road. A patrolman came upon the scene and asked what had happened. The biologist explained that he was in the process of trying to quickly get the now hatching seagull eggs back to his lab for the experiment on his dolphins when he had hit and killed the two escaped lions. The patrolman thought for a moment then pulled out his handcuffs and said "OK buddy, you better come with me". The biologist was floored. He said "Why am I being arrested I haven't done anything"?! The patrolman responded, "Sir I am arresting you for transporting young gulls across state lions for immortal porpoises".
