[Dangerous Doug]

A doctor walks into an examination room where an elderly woman is waiting.

“Mrs. Johnson, good to see you. What can I help you with?”

“Well,” Mrs. Johnson started, “I’ve been having a little problem. It’s a little embarassing.”

“Don’t worry. You don’t need to be embarassed with me. What’s ailing you?” the kind doctor replied.

“Well, I’ve been having silent gas attacks at the most inopportune moments. For instance, I was standing in a long line at the city library, and I was silently passing gas while I was standing in line. It smelled awful, but because it was silent I could let them slip out.”

“Uh, huh. Go on.”

“And another time, I was at the ballet with my daughter. Throughout the whole performance, I was silently passing gas.”

“So it’s a constant problem for you?”

“Why, yes! It is! In fact, the whole time I’ve been standing here talking to you, I’ve been silently passing gas!”

“Well,” the kind doctor replied, “ I think we need to start by testing your hearing…”