[cobra de capell]

Subject: The Politician

While walking down the street one day, a politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," he says aloofly.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you can choose were to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the pol.

"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down …. to Hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a gleaming clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him; everyone is very happy and dressed in fancy evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, slap him on the back and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf, do some gambling, have a few drinks (all free) and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven, where St. Peter is waiting.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the politician joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. It is very peaceful and serene. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."

He reflects for a minute and then answers "Well, I would never have guessed that I would say this …. I mean Heaven has been delightful …. but I think I would prefer to be in Hell."

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors of the elevator open. He is in the middle of a barren, hot, glaring landscape covered with human waste and burning garbage. He sees all his friends - naked, sweating, forlorn - picking up the burning trash with their bare hands and putting into immense, heavy bags that they drag, on bleeding, cut bare feet, along the uneven and sharp gravel-strewn ground. Periodically, demons swoop in with whips and hot pokers to prod on the exhausted and suffering souls.

The Devil comes over and lays his arm on his neck. “You’re back,” he sneers into his face with the foulest of breath.

"I don't understand," stammers the pol. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse and we ate lobster and caviar and drank wine and margaritas and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of burning garbage, and my friends look miserable.”

The Devil smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"