Not Ranked
Blonde in Vegas - A guy is walking from the elevator to his room in a Las Vegas hotel. He sees a blonde at the Coke machine. She is repeatedly putting in coins and pressing a button on the machine. Each time, as a bottle of Coke comes down the chute, she jumps up & down, squealing with excitement.
The guy stops her and asks, "Excuse me, can you tell me what you are doing?"
The blonde replies, "Like, duhhh...I'm WINNING."
One evening a father was surprised to overhear his little girl's bedtime prayer.
"God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. God bless Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa."
"Wierd," he thought, and went on his way. The next day he was shocked to learn that his father had died of a heart attack.
A week later he heard his daughter saying her prayers again. "God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. Goodbye Grandma."
Sure enough, the next morning he learned that his mother had had a heart attack.
One week later he was stunned. "God bless Mommy, and goodbye Daddy."
Needless to say, he went to bed in mortal fear. He was barely able to get out of bed the next morning. He tiptoed gingerly through the day taking extra care to be safe in everything he did. To be sure, he decided to stay at work until 1 minute after midnight. Then he went home.
"Wow," he said to his wife. "You wouldn't believe the nerve wracking day I've had."
"You think you had a bad day?" she says. "The mailman had a heart attack right on our front porch!
Happy Father's Day.
|