You know you're from Southern California when...
The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.
You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.
You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).
You drive to your neighborhood block party.
You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.
In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
You eat a different ethnic food for every meal
If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.
Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
You really can never be too rich or too thin.
You've partied in Tijuana at least once.
You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
You eat pineapple on pizza.
Bars card. For real.
Your cell phone has left a permanant impression on the side of your head.
You think that Venice is a beach.
The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.
You mourned for Tupac and not for Biggie
You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is. ( the guitar guy on skates lol)
You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class or "909ers". Best area code: "714, 949."
You call 911 and they put you on hold.
You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.
You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.
Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes".
The Terminator is your governor
You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH"
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California
Ron
