(2006-10-26) — President George Bush, at a White House news conference yesterday, assured Americans that “Republicans will pull out of Congress as soon as Democrats are ready to govern and protect our nation, and not one day sooner.”
“We’ll stand down as Democrats stand up,” the president said, “We’ve been doing all we can to train them, teach them the value of liberty, and show them the importance of fighting the enemy before he shows up in your neighborhood.”
However, Mr. Bush acknowledged disappointment with the pace of that training.
“By this time, we had hoped they would be self-governing and ready to defend the nation,” he said, “but we’re committed to the goal, and we won’t pull out of Congress until we know they can handle it.”
While rejecting calls for a timeline, such as a November 7 redeployment, Mr. Bush talked about establishing “benchmarks of progress” for Democrats.
“Republicans will pull out of Congress allowing the Democrats to govern,” he said, “when the following benchmarks are met: – when Democrats value life and liberty for our citizens more than they prize civil rights for our enemies, – when Democrats understand that the answer to people who blow up and behead civilians can’t be found in the court room, – when Democrats stop their abuse of women, millions of whom are mercilessly tortured and killed every year before they emerge from the womb, – when Democrats see the harm to society in same-sex marriage and the benefit in same-sex education, – when Democrats realize what the “il” in illegal alien stands for, – when Democrats figure out that a “government of the people” must include people who don’t wear black robes at work, and – when Democrats finally see a tax increase they don’t like, and a tax cut they do.”