[cobra de capell]

A woman was having a passionate affairwith an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

"Quick," said the woman to thelover,"into the closet!" and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspiciousand after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. "Who are you?"he asked him.

"I'm an inspector fromBugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.

"What are you doing in there?"the husband asked.

"I'm investigating a complaint aboutan infestation of moths," the man replied.

"And where are your clothes?"asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards!"
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Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.

One day the dogdied, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' besaying' a mass for the poor creature?"

Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraidnot; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, andthere's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for thecreature."

Muldoon said, "I'll go right awayFather. Do ya 'think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?"

Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?"
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A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful."

Then hefell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said,

"You're cute."

The wife was disappointed because insteadof "beautiful," it was now "cute."

She asked, "What happened to beautiful?"

The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off."
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There once was a religious young womanwho went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, forI have sinned."

The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."

The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times."

The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and thendrink the juice."

The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"

The priest said, "No, but it willwipe that smile off of your face."