[VRM]

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but
never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises
that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little
smiley faces on this card - just the stone cold truth of our great
friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against
the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can
only think of 4.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can
feel the true warmth.

And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt
and call me over!