[cobra de capell]

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into
the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,
"Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or
mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the
other is a husband.

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A Polish immigrant went to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for
a driver's license. First, he had to take an eye test. The tester showed
him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."