[FACTORYFIVE MW]

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer approaches the driver's window and says to the driver,
"Sir, I clocked you at 75 miles per hour, Sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had my cruise control set on 60 mph, the speed limit. Perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Without looking up from her knitting, the wife says, "Now, don't be silly, Dear, you know that our car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer begins writing out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did and you had a chance to slow down a little."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detection unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Cool it, Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer peers into the car, frowns, and says, "And I notice that you are not wearing your seat belt, Sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.":
The wife says, "Now, Dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

As the police officer begins writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife, infuriated, and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT UP?!"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
The wife smiles sweetly and replies, "No, Sir, only when he's been drinking."