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Hillary has just been elected President. On her first night in the White House, she sees the ghost of George Washington. She asks it “What can I do to best help my country?” Washington says “Never tell a lie.” Hillary says “Oooh, I don’t think I could do that.” The next night she sees Thomas Jefferson’s ghost. She asks “How can I best help my country?” He says “Do what the people want”. Hillary says “Nah, I don’t really want to do that.” On the third night she sees the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks “How can I best help my country?” And he says “Go into the theater...”
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A family of moles was sleeping in their hole, when the father mole gets up to look outside because he smelled some scrambled eggs. The mother mole also gets up to enjoy the smell. The baby mole follows to try and get a sniff, but he’s too short and is blocked by his parents facing out of the hole. Disappointed, he says “All I smell is molasses”
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