[Ron61]

I was buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check
out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Duh! I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I
was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most
of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her
head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally
buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way
it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here
that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my
story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something
in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the
hospital.

I said no .. I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit
me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the
door.