[cobra de capell]

TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOU HAVE CHANGED TO CLINTON'S AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE PLAN

(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters

(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care coverage is "an apple a day."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

(4) The patient is responsible for 200% of out of network charges, this is not a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED HER HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a popsicle stick and duct tape.