[427sharpe]

A little old man is driving home with his wife when he gets pulled over by a cop. Cop steps to the window and tells the old man..."Sir, I clocked you at 71 in a 55 zone. Is there an emergency?" Old man replies "Officer, I had my cruise control on 55. Has your radar been calibrated?" Without waiting a beat the wife says "Why Bert, you know this old car doesn't have cruise control!"
The old man says quietly, "Can you please be quiet for a moment?"
Cop writes the ticket, then tells him "I also noticed you weren't wearing your seatbelt..thats a $75 fine." Old man: "But I took off my seatbelt to get my wallet when you pulled me over!" and againg the wife chirps in: "Why HONEY! You KNOW you NEVER wear the seatbelt!!" and this drives the old man over the edge. He starts yelling at his wife: "You STUPID, IGNORANT SILLY OLD BITC*! WHEN ARE YOU GONNA LEARN WHEN TO KEEP YOUR PHUKIN" MOUTH SHUT AND LET ME HANDLE SOMETHING!!!"
Cop lets him cool down, then asks the wife "Does he always talk to you that way?"

"ONLY WHEN HE'S DRUNK!"