[Mikey_P]

Here are a few I have heard and used.

I don’t climb that tree

Crookeder than a pan of guts

More nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers

A man was described to me once as “ He would rather climb a 20 foot pole greased with sh*t to tell you a lie than to tell you the truth to your face.”

Busier than a one armed paperhanger

I’ve fu*ked a lot of ugly women and I’ve fu*ked a lot of fat women but I have never fu*ked a fat, ugly woman

Piss up a rope

Tighter than Mike Brass’s ass