[cobra de capell]

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
Fresh from the shower, my wife stands in front of the mirror complaining to me that her breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, I
uncharacteristically come up with a suggestion. ‘If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.’

Willing to try anything, she fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. ‘How long will this take?’ she asked.

‘They will grow larger over a period of years,’ I reply.

She stopped. ‘Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?’

Without missing a beat I say ‘Worked for your butt, didn't it?’

I'm still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, I may even walk again,

Although I will probably continue to take my meals through a straw.

I'm a stupid, stupid man.