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(Harare, Zimbabwe)- Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe's 84 year old ruler has stated he's more than ready for a run-off with opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai and is looking to an unlikely source for inspiration, Senator Hillary Clinton, (D-NY). Mugabe's Deputy Information Minister Bright Matonga issued this statement:

"In meetings with Mr. Mugabe, we talked about how much he has in common with Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party nomination process in the United States. Like Hillary, Mr. Mugabe is behind in votes. In drawing a favorable comparison, we admire her fighting spirit, her unwillingness to let go when she's obviously behind and should quit as well as her decision to take this all the way to the Democratic Party convention in Denver. We both believe every vote should count, unless it helps our opposition and, like Hillary, who is willing to completely destroy everything around her, including her own political party and it seems, the United States in the process, we can proudly say we're one step ahead of her as we have already completely corrupted the government here and ruined the country. We have plenty of campaign cash as we have collected our "cut" of international aid enabling our lifestyle, while she, well, forget that one, bad example. We are going to a runoff election, and Hillary will fight for a runoff in the 2nd round of voting at the convention, and finally, we're both ruthless and relentless in our pursuit of power. We have much in common. In our fight for justice and fair elections, after we review the ballots and convince influential super-voters, we will prevail. I'm inspired by her."

Senator Barack Obama was informed of Mr. Mugabe's remarks, and in a display of his complete knowledge of international affairs, which makes him uniquely qualified for the Office of President, said, "Who in the he*l is Robert Mugabe??"

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