[What'saCobra?]

Sir,
Your proposals regarding the use of our Poultry Barns for your private investments have been reviewed by us at our local Crown & Ale offices and have been approved, but with some reservations.

It is not clear to us how you plan on removing the two and half meters of poultry droppings prior to your utilizations. Whilst we agree that such guano can be a valuable commodity, having included the value of such in our price quotes, you may not realize that the age of the crop had rendered its hardness just slightly softer than our basalt by test. Thou years of dust and debris have covered the surfaces to a grey patina, you should be advised again that attempts at opening the surface will expose rather noxious vapors for some lengthy period of time until the barns are habitable.

While we understand you have no intention of immediately removing the said materials and have assured us that it will not affect your operations in the slightest, we feel obliged to advise you hereby in writing.

Further, we all now agree that you may install whatever neon lighting you might require on the exterior premises, containing any obligatory logos or branding as you consider appropriate. This is not really an inconvenience to our small community, since that shallow end of the valley remains otherwise unimproved and uninhabited. We are a proud people and we value our quietude; but, we are modernists and recognize the importance of new commerce both to the Dansk Crown and our lovely Fugloy.

In that regard, we have been discussing your future logo as it might fit our locale. Whilst we know from you that another foreign company of some mean sort has already claimed to use a rearing horse (cavalle rampant), we would suggest rather one of our several sturdy plough-horses as your project's proud example of four hoofs clearly and solidly on the rocky ground of our erie islands. We will make either of our plough-horses available for any photo-sessions you might require, though the mare does look a bit bowed since her last mounting.

Further to your lease details, you have been advised of the nature of our rainy topology and have been cautioned regarding the occasional flooding of that area of Hattarvik and you have agreed to accept our conditions.

We insist that you have agreed to not discuss in any way the history of the previous foreign lessee from the American Colonies, about which various stories are likely not true. It was only rumored that his European investments included his partial ownership in the Nils Coe & Anders Bra Poultry Works. My grandfather Sean, rest his soul, did manage the property in the late fifties and remembers meeting the gentleman quite clearly, when grandfather was in better fiddle, mostly Saturday evenings here at the Crown & Ale downstairs offices.

While grandfather never could quite understand what the gentleman was saying, it was clear that he had previous experience in the Poultry business, apparently not all of it successful. Grandfather particularly liked the way the gentleman waved his arms about from horizon to horizon as he talked. Of course, he only visited once, because of other business concerns. We agree that in time you may reveal his identity to your partners and at large, once the 75-year agreement has expired. My uncle and cousin never did learn about why he wanted the exclusive name of the Coe-Bra Poultry Works after that horrible poultry disease spoilt their last hatchlings, but to each his own, i suppose. An American Dollar seemed fair enough to grandfather for a failed company logo and grandfather had not seen one since the Great War. The gentleman seemed to be otherwise quite famous in the automotive business, he supposedly said, but we never learnt about any details because grandfather couldn't recall too much about anything after the unfortunate roof-thatching accident.

We agree in principle to help you manage the development of the eventual tourist hotel you are planning. We would suggest your joining at least nominally the local Walking Club and avail yourself of their various trails and easy climbs to publish in your hotel's area attraction feature. My cousin, Einar, is the registrar and will help you organize such as is required. We don't get many visitors to the area anymore since the prison was closed due to disuse and the unfortunate neglect of the prisoners. Actually, less than a dozen died due to exposure and that from a population of less than two dozen escapees. Over the last century, the stories have grown all out of proportion.

We were very pleased that you found our happy townsfolk to your liking and all six of us are further proud to know you have found this to be the least expensive properties in the entire British and Danish Empires, such they are. We welcome you into our company during your promised at least annual visits and stand ready to pick you up again at the docks at Hvannasund and swiftly cart you via the town's whale-boat the eight exciting hours to our beautiful Kirkja on Fugloy and via the town cart to the downstairs Crown & Ale for libations and other refreshments we will order for you in advance.

We only caution you that you must clean-up your own spittle at the bar, as is our homely customs here. And please avoid another confrontation with my cousin Eirik, our Constable and kindly refrain from referring to our beloved Fugloy as God-Forsaken.

Eirik apologises for any unfortunate remarks he may have made about your main-land heritage and Herself-Who-Not-Be-Named. As we were all rather jovial at the time, no-one is quite certain what was said to whom, so it is our custom to simply apologise to everyone around and everything is completely settled. i am sure the little bump on your head is indulgence enough for the black-eye you gave him. All in all, it was a grand evening and left us with much to discuss and laugh about. A regular night, really. Actually, Eirik has needed a good one for some time; well deserved, really. How could you know he was our Constable, anyway, with no visible uniform? I think he could have dispensed with the hand-cuffs, though.

Wishing you a fine Skol on your business venture,

Hjalmar Coe

Ps: I hope you have recovered enough from the rather rough trip back to Hvannasund. Should you visit more frequently, you will get your sea-legs and the trip will be less sickening. I will not mention your illness to our islanders, you can be assured, and have cleaned up the rather unsightly bilge area as a result. I hope you did not miss your bus to Torshavn and thereby your flight to Aberdeen. Return soon!