[cobra de capell]

Following the news regarding British Airways no longer carrying in-flight meals containing beef so not to offend Hindu's, U.S. flag carriers have decided to also offer non-offending foods on their international flights.

Said a spokesperson, "U.S. flag carriers will no longer carry pork products so not to offend muslims, beef products so not to offend Hindus, fish or chicken so not to offend vegetarians, no milk or dairy products so not to offend vegans, salads so not to offend those who believe plants have rights, or any other type of meal that has a remote chance of offending anyone for any reason. Although this severely limits our meal options, our chefs are now devising appealing alternatives including fruitcake prepared in a variety of purees and fondues, dry cracker surprise and a delicious assortment of tofu prepared in a plethora of sauces, none of which contain trans-fats. All these items will be prepared using water instead of flavored stock so not to offend those who are offended by flavored stock."

In taste tests, repondents reported that all the new meals were very good because they, "Have the texture of a good used hemp rope but contain half the flavor and zero calories."

Developing..