[cobra de capell]

Probably a repeat, but if it did happen, it would be funny every time.....

Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.

At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet.

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, “Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.”

From the front of the crowd a voice with a broad Scottish accent pierced the quiet…

“Well, f----in stop doin it then, ya evil ba------rd!”
_____

A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs.

After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.

The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 4 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which was the only vehicle he had, and drove the thirty miles. While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, 'How will I know if they are pregnant?'

The other farmer replied, 'If they're lying in the grass in the morning they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not.'

The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again.

This continued each morning for more than a week. The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife, 'Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass.'

'Neither,' yelled his wife, 'they're in the station wagon and one
of them is honking the horn.'
_____

Former President Clinton is out jogging, and he encounters a man with some puppies.

Clinton asks the man what kind of puppies they are, and the man responds, "They're Democrat puppies, Mr. President."

Clinton thinks that is so great that the next day he brings Hillary by to see these puppies for herself. He asks the man to tell Hillary what kind of puppies they are, and the man responds, "They're Republican puppies."

The president looks puzzled and says, "Yesterday, you told me they were Democrat puppies."

The man smiles and says, "Yesterday, they were. But today, they have their eyes open!"