[cobra de capell]

Rules of Bedroom Golf


1.Each course is privately owned, use of the course is by invitation only.

2.The course may not be in ‘ready to play’ condition on your arrival. Warm-up and practice areas are available on a limited basis. It is always considered bad form to begin playing a hole immediately upon arrival at the course. Experienced players will spend considerable time admiring the course, paying special attention to the well-formed bunkers.

3.The course owner is the single defining authority on ‘out-of-bounds’ play. If a portion of the course is temporarily under repair, player is advised to find alternate means of play.

4.Access to some portions of the course is restricted. Players are cautioned to always play the correct hole, as indicated by the course owner. Players are advised to always obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

5.Replay of a particular hole will be allowed, especially if it was initially well-played. It is considered outstanding form to play the hole several times in one match.

6.Scorekeeping is the responsibility of each player. No scores are to be published.

7.Players who may be unable to achieve par for the course will be directed to the driving range, where they can individually shoot a bucket of balls.

8.Generally, playing is by paired twosomes. Threesomes & foursomes are only allowed on special occasions. Leave your caddy at home.

9.The player will furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

10.Unlike regular golf, the object of the game is to take as many strokes as possible, until the course owner is satisfied.

11.For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. The course owner may check the stiffness of the shaft before allowing play to commence.

12.Course owner reserves the right to restrict the shaft length, so as to avoid damage to the course. Use of oversized clubs is always at the course owner’s discretion.

13.Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the request of the course owner.

14.Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played recently to the owner of the course presently being played.

15.Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing what they consider to be a private course.

16.Course owner shall be the judge of who is the best player.

17.It is considered bad form to reveal to other players that you have ever played a particular course.

18.Players are advised to think twice before considering membership at a given course. Additional assessments may be levied by the course owner, and the rules are subject to change. For this reason many players prefer to continue to play several different courses.
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One evening John and the guys were hitting the Guinness at the pub and having a contest to see who could come up with the best toast. John hoisted his beer high and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" With that, he was instantly awarded the prize of Toast of the Night.

Later that evening, he went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night.""Aye," she said, "and what was your toast?""Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife!" he replied. "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "Did you know John won the prize the other night with a toast about you, Mary?"

"Aye," she said. "I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!"