[cobra de capell]

A divorced man meets his ex-wife's new husband at a party. Later after knocking back a few drinks, he goes over to the new guy and asks him: "So... How do you like using second hand stuff?" The new husband replies "It isn't all that bad at all really. Past the first 2 inches, it's all brand new."
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Stage one, you start to forget little things, like the names of people you know.

Stage two, you start to forget their faces.

Stage three, you start to forget all kinds of little things, like zipping up your zipper after you pee.

Stage four, you forget all the rest of the little things, like zipping down you zipper.
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An Old Sailor Joke.

James, an old retired sailor, finds and puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, just for old times' sake.

Once there, he engages a local prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but
needing some reassurance, he asks, 'How am I doing'?

The prostitute replies, 'Well James, you old sailor, you're doing about three knots.'

Three knots?' he asks. 'What's the hell that supposed to mean?'

She says, 'You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back.