[392cobra]

DNC Deal: Hillary Gets Roll Call, Obama May Speak

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace

(2008-08-16) — Sen. Hillary Clinton has reportedly granted Sen. Barack Obama’s request for a speaking role at the Democrat National Convention in Denver this month, after Sen. Obama supported her demand for a roll-call vote on her own nomination.

“We are very grateful to Hillary for this opportunity to address the convention,” said Sen. Obama. “Let’s be honest: We all know who wears the pants in this party, and the pant suits. She didn’t have to do this for me, but her willingness to grant me a significant role in Denver shows how committed she is to unifying the party behind a single leader.”

Supporters of Sen. Obama said his handling of this intra-party crisis demonstrates his strengths as commander in chief, noting that his secret to quickly resolving conflicts is to simply give the other party what they want.

“When a world power, Russia or Iran for example, causes trouble and makes unreasonable demands, President Obama will launch boldly into dialog and make sure the enemy gets what’s coming to them,” said one unnamed Obama aide. “In Obama’s America, we will lay down our weapons and take up the torch of conciliatory diplomacy. In addition to smoother international relations, we’ll also save a ton of money, because compared with weapons, talk is cheap.”