[cobra de capell]

Aye, aye, Chief!

Speaking of that.....

The Chief noticed a new Seaman one day and barked at him to get over here. “What is your name?” was the first thing the Chief asked the new guy.

“John,” the new guy replied. The Chief scowled, “Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart, liberal pansy ass stuff they’re teaching Sailors in boot camp today, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.I refer to my Sailors by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that’s all. I am to be referred to only as Chief. Do I make myself clear”?

“Aye, aye, Chief!” “Good! Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?”

The new guy sighed and said, “Darling. My name is John Darling, Chief!”

“Okay John, here’s what I want you to do...”
_____

An Englishman, a Canadian and an American were captured by terrorists.

The terrorist leader said, “Before we shoot you, you will be allowed last words. Please let me know what you wish to talk about.”

The Englishman replied, “I wish to speak of loyalty and service to the crown.”

The Canadian replied, “Since you are involved in a question of national purpose, national identity, and secession, I wish to talk about the history of constitutional process in Canada, special status, distinct society and uniqueness within diversity.”

The American replied, “Just shoot me before the Canadian starts talking.”