[cobra de capell]

How to Install a Home Security System in the South

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

'Cooter'
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Below is a eye witness account of a gang fight & kill'n one night this week. It was posted on another web site...

About 8 coons were eating corn underneath my feeder. All of a sudden, 2 coons start fighting. Another coon runs from the treeline and joins the fight! Protecting one of the participants? Who knows. Pretty interesting though. But wait! Theres more!.....

After about 10 seconds of the three of them fighting, 1 bails and heads back into the woods. The other two continue fighting INTO THE TANK! They were literally fighting IN THE WATER. They went all the way to the middle of the tank while still fighting. I was watching the whole thing through my night vision monocular.

There eyes were going up and down below the water line. they were caughing, screaming, scratching, AND STILL FIGHTING! Then, they both go down for about 5 seconds or so, and one doesn't come back up. The one that came back up, swam to shore and ran off. The other one never resurfaced.

Is this coon murder? Man I wish I had enough light to film. It was amazing!
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A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time.

She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist.

Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr. Chang.

So she went to see him.

Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said ‘OK take off all your crose.’

The woman did as she was told.

‘Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.’

Again the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said ‘OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.’

So she did.

Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said ‘Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary diease.

Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.’

Worried the woman asked anxiously ‘Oh my God Dr. Chang what is Ed Zachary Disease ?’

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied ‘Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your a$$.’
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