Smart Investing
If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00.
Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
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Top 11 Things That Will Change in the Post 2008 Economy
11) High-fee ATMs at 7-Eleven suddenly most solvent financial institution in America.
10) Ben Bernanke's new bathroom reading: Ron Paul position papers.
9) In updated version of Monopoly, bank no longer makes error in your favor, whichever player has the car must pay $200 gasoline surcharge when passing Go and all the houses -- now peach-pink in color and branded KB Homes -- are held in collective by a massive Chinese investment fund.
8) As foreclosure-ridden exurbs turn to slums, Starbucks diversifies into check-cashing business.
7) Sensing that color photos strike false chord during a Depression, National Geographic returns to publishing in black and white.
6) Malcolm Gladwell starts losing corporate speaking gigs to MC Hammer, whose life experience suddenly resonates with I-bankers.
5) Harvard remains filthy rich; alumni inexplicably continue to give it money.
4) Hipsters switch from PBR to Ethanol.
3) Cloning ban overturned to create army of Alan Greenspans.
2) Stigma once attached to cohabitation now directed at sharing sleeping bag in tent city.
1) Lender of last resort: Oprah.
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