[cobra de capell]

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby. "

"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
_____

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to a doctor who was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations . . . I've changed my will three times!"