Not Ranked
"Blondes and the Telephone Pole"
A phone company put an ad in the paper in order to recruit workers. The next day, two groups of workers show up - a crew of five men and a crew of five blonde women.
The company can not decide who to give the job to, so they give the two groups a test. The company boss says, "Each crew will receive a telephone pole that must be
installed into the ground. Whoever is able to hammer it in first will get the job."
Both groups agree that this is a fair test, so off they go in the Company trucks with the long telephone poles sticking out the back. A few hours pass, and finally, at 5:00, the male crew returns. "Yes!" they shout. "We came back first, so we get the job!!"
"Good work, men," says the boss, "However, we must wait until the other crew comes back to make sure that the reason they're delayed is not because of traffic or the
truck breaking down."
"Fine, no problem," say the men. An hour passes, two hours pass, three hours. Finally, at 8:30, the Blonde crew arrives. All the group is flushed and breathing hard, as if they had just gone through harsh labor.
"What happened to you? What took so long?" asks the boss incredulously.
"What do you mean, 'what took so long'?? Do we get the job?"
"YOU get the job? No way! The men were back here HOURS ago!"
"Well, of course they were," say the blondes. "They only put the pole in halfway!!"
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Golf and a Heart Attack"
The husband and wife were playing on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack. "Please dear, I need help." she said.
The husband ran off saying, "I'll go get some help." A little while later he returned, picked up his club and began to line up his shot on the green.
His wife, on the ground, raised up her head and said, "I may be dying, and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear. I found a doctor on the second hole who said he come and help."
"The second hole?? When in the hell is he coming???"
"Hey! I told you not to worry." he said, practice stroking his putt. "Everyone's already agreed to let him play through."
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"Lawyers on the Bus"
A bus-load of Lawyers is traveling down a deserted road. Suddenly it swerves into a field and hits a tree, and catches fire.
The owner of the field, a farmer, runs up, surveys the scene, and buries all the lawyers.
A week later, two policemen are traveling down that same road and notice the wreckage. They run up to the house and ask what happened.
"A bus-load of lawyers crashed into the tree and the bus caught fire." replied the farmer.
"But what happened to all the lawyers?" asked the policeman.
"I buried them," the farmer said.
"They were all dead?" cried the officer.
"Some of them said they weren't," replied the farmer, "but you know that lawyers are very good at lying."
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