[cobra de capell]

The other day an older couple was sitting at the local steak house enjoying an evening out. As the evening went on the man was having a tough time chewing his steak. As he complained to his wife about his old dentures the couple at the next table overheard and the gentleman reached in his pocket, pulled out a set of teeth and said "try these."

After chewing for a little while he commented they were a little loose. The gentleman reached in his other pocket, took out another set and exchanged.

After another piece of steak the man said these are better, but just a tad tight. The gentleman reached in his breast pocket and produced a third set.

After a bite of steak, then another and yet another the old man grinned and said these are perfect!

The couples continued their meals and evenings side by side without any more exchange. As the gentleman and his wife got up to leave the elderly lady thanked him profusely for the help and inquired "Are you a dentist?" "No" came the reply "A funeral director."
______

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits.

It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"

"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one.
_____

A man, seeking to join the police department, is being interviewed.

The Inspector says: "Your qualifications are good, but there is an attitude test that you must pass before you can join."

Sliding a pistol across the desk, he says: "Take this pistol - go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, six child molesters and a rabbit."

"...Why the rabbit?"

"GREAT attitude," says the Inspector, "You passed! When can you start?"
_____