A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole.. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'.
The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!'
Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it.
She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Skippy, get away from her, before she sh*ts all over you!'
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A women's CHRISTMAS wish list.....
If I had 1 wish this Christmas, it would be for all the children of the world to join together in peace and love and sing in harmony.
If I had 2 wishes this Christmas, it would be for:
1: All the Children of the world to sing together
2: $1,000,000 tax free
If I had 3 wishes this Christmas:
1: Kids singing together
2: $1,000,000 tax free per year for life
3: To have all encompassing power over the universe
If I had 4 wishes this Christmas:
1: The crap about the kids
2: $1,000,000
3: All encompassing power
4: 1 extended orgasm to last 30 days, brought about by
2 male models and, of course, my husband
Let's face it, the logistics of getting all those kids together is impossible. So, let's rearrange:
1: All encompassing power
2: The orgasm
3: The money
OH! I forgot to strike down my enemies. Okay, so we add that in.
Now, my wish this Christmas would be:
1: The power
2: To strike down my enemies, may they die like pigs in hell
3. The orgasm
4. The Money
5. And with my fifth wish this holiday season I would like for all the
children of the world to join together in peace and love and sing
in harmony.
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TOP OF THE WORLD.......