Not Ranked
An elderly couple, Linda and Bob, moved to the country. Bob always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Linda looked him over. "Nope.' Frustrated, Bob stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Linda, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?!" Linda looked up and exclaimed, "Bob, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!" Furious, Bob yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, Linda?" "Nope," she replied. "IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!" Without changing her expression, Linda replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bob. Shoulda bought a hat."
_____
It was a hot day in Minnesota . Helga hung out the wash to dry, put a roast in the oven, and then went downtown to pick up some dry cleaning.
'Gootness, it's hotter Dan hell today,' she mused to herself as she walked down Main Street . She passed a tavern and thought , 'Vy nodt?'
She walked in and took a seat at the bar.The bartender walked up and asked her what she would like to drink.
'Ya know,' Helga said, 'it is zo hot, I tink I'll have myself a cold beer'.
'Anheuser Busch?' the bartender asked.
Helga blushed and replied, 'Vell fine, tanks, und how's yur viener?'
_____
You are driving down the road in your Cobra on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your Cobra? Think before you continue reading.
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS....... The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: 'I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.'
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box.'
HOWEVER....... The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.
God, I just love happy endings!
|