[Baz]

A vulture boards an aircraft carrying two dead racoons. The Stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

I'LL KEEP GOING WHILE I'M HOT.

Two eskimos sitting in their kayak were feeling a bit chilly so they lit a fire in the bottom of the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes. I'm positive."

A group of chess enthusiasts who are checked into a hotel are standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?' they asked as they moved off. "Because", the manager replied, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (MAN THIS IS SO BAD, ITS GOOD) a super, calloused, fragile, mystic, hexed by halitosis.

Evidence has found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the Swiss League records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire so we will never know for whom the Tells bowled.

That's it from 'Down Under' for today.

Happy New Year to all my friends in the U S of A.

Baz.