Not Ranked
Q: How many Obama voters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Hoping that it would change is quite enough.
Q: How many autoworkers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 17 at GM, Ford and Chrysler; 1 at Honda, Hyundai and Toyota.
Q: How many Chicago pols does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: F--- you, what am I gettin' outta this?
Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It's burnt out on the Republican side, so we're not changing it.
Q: How many MSM journalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: No need, Obama is the Light.
Q: How many Congresspersons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, but they'll allocate a few billion to achieve change under the Obama Stimulus Bill.
Q: How many Daily Kos bloggers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It was Bush's fault the bulb burned out; it'll get fixed by itself when he leaves office.
Q: How many Minnesota Canvassing Board members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends. They'll only change it if it looks like a vote for Coleman.
Q: How many Oprah Winfrey fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The bulb's not so light these days.
Q: How many Cubans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: There have been no lightbulbs since the USSR collapsed.
Q: How many North Koreans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: What's a lightbulb?
Q: How many Hollywood celebrities does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Six to make movies about evil lightbulb companies, twelve to lecture about the unequal distribution of light on late night talk shows and nine to get caught with drugs hidden in cartons of lightbulbs.
Q: How many Obama appointees does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: His team is currently in the process of finding someone from the Clinton Administration who knows how.
Q: How many Caroline Kennedys does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: She's never thought about it but now that you mention it, she'd love for someone to change it for her.
Actual answer.....from her....
I've never, you know, thought about it but, you know, now that you, you know, mention it, you know, I'd love for someone to, you know, change it for me, you know.
Q: How many President Elect Obamas does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The bulb is a lot more burnt out than we thought. Clearly, the bulb has deteriorated. It might not be changed as quickly as we would like.
Q: “How many Kennedys does it take to change a light bulb?”
A: “Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to drink until the room spins around.”
Q:How many union electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five...you gotta problem with that, buddy?
Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.
Q: How many surrealist painters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Fish.
Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Let's go ride our bikes!
Q: How many Obama voters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Excuse me. Light bulbs are just another part of the soulless industrial society we should be moving away from in our mission to save Mother earth from warming. Obama's brother doesn't need no stinking light bulb and neither should we.
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Q: What do you call a “progressive” who wants a strong centralized government that controls the economy?
A: A "re-gressive." We already had the type of government under King George and some rowdy colonialist revolted. (not a joke)
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