Not Ranked
Q. Why did George Bush declare a state of emergency for Barack Obama's inauguration?
A. Because everyone knows it's a national disaster.
Q. What's an example of irony?
A. Bruce Springsteen is scheduled to sing "Born in the USA" at Barack Obama's inauguration.
Chief Justice Roberts: Knock, knock.
Barack Obama: Who's there?
Chief Justice Roberts: Kenya.
Barack Obama: Kenya who?
Chief Justice Roberts: Kenya show me your birth certificate before you're sworn in?
Barack Obama: Knock, knock.
Taxpayers at the inauguration: Who's there?
Barack Obama: Eff.
Taxpayers at the inauguration: Eff who?
Barack Obama: Eff you.
Q. Why will there two presidential limousines for the inauguration?
A. So Hillary won’t know which one he’s in.
Q. What is the difference between Barack Obama and Jimmy Carter?
A. Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to ruin the economy.
Q. Why did the Secret Service double security on Michelle Obama immediately after the inauguration?
A. If something happened to her, then Barack would be in charge.
Why did Jimmy Carter vote for Obama?
Because he didn’t want to be the worst President in American History.
A 6th grade teacher asked her class “How many of you are Obama fans?” Half the class were, but another fourth didn’t know what and Obama fan was, and the other fourth, all exect one, didn’t really care. So, just to be on the good side of the teacher, the two fourths of the class raised their hands, and of course, the one half also raised their hands.
There sat young Michael, sadly, the only one who didn’t have his hand raised. The teacher asked him, “so Michael, why aren’t you an Obama fan?”
Michael said “My parents are Republicans, my brother who’s in college is a Republican, so I am a republican.” Peeved by the answer, the teacher asked, “so if your parents were idiots and your brother was a moron, what would that make you?”
Michael said “An Obama fan.”
A winner....
"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average Obama voter.”
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