Q. Why will Obama hold a séance once he's in the White House?
A. So that he can thank everybody who voted for him.
President elect Obama has arranged for his first meeting with foreign leaders from other countries to demonstrate his foreign policy expertise. It's scheduled to run for five minutes.
Q. What will America's national bird be when Obama takes office? A. His middle finger.
Obama's staff is preparing for his first press conference as President. They're busy writing the questions.
Q. What will the difference be between President Obama and Karl Marx?
A. Nobody knows.
Unlike former Presidents, Obama is not a member of the NRA, National Rifle Association. He's joined William Ayers organization instead. The NBA, the National Bombers Association.
Q. Why did the Secret Service install lightning rods at the White House?
A. To protect President Obama as he took his Oath of Office.
As President, Obama intends to run the country's finances just like he ran his household finances. He's got a book of blank checks
Q. Why will Obama ride in the back of a Presidential limousine?
A. The Vatican wouldn't sell him a Pope-Mobile.
Q. Why will President Obama get a new puppy for the White House?
A. Joe Biden is getting on in years.
Q. What’s black and blue and dead all over?
A. Anyone who dares to tell a joke about President Obama in public.
Q. What do SIMBA and OBAMA have in common?
A. They're both cartoons.
Q. Why will President Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden?
A. He doesn't want any bushes at the White House.
Q. What will President Obama replace the rose bushes with?
A. Opium poppies.
