[cobra de capell]

Snopes does not list this as "false;” but you might want to check this out with the IRS and your Senators.


Income taxes are normally due on April 15th unless that date falls on a Saturday or Sunday, in which case they are due on Monday the 16th or 17th.

However, I have been told that rule has recently been changed for this and for the next 4 years, tax payments will not be due until you are nominated to a cabinet position.

Please check with your Tax adviser to confirm
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A rich guy and a poor guy are sitting at a bar.
The rich guy says,"today's my wifes birthday."
The poor guy asks what he got her.
The rich guy replies,"I bought her a diamond necklace and a new mercedes."
The poor guy asks why he bought both, to which the rich guy replies,"well, I figure if she doesn't like
the necklace she can get in her mercedes and drive it back to the store."
The poor guys,"oh, good thinking, today's my wifes birthday also."
The rich guy asks what he got her and the poor guy says,"I bought her a pair of flip-flops and a dildo."
The rich guy says,"thats an interesting combination."
The poor guy says,"yeah, I figure if she doesn't like the flip-flops, she can go f##k herself."
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After the election, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin decided to do her best to heal the wounds with her rivals in the bitter campaign.

She invited the ticket that defeated John McCain and her, Barack Obama and Joe Biden, to a moose-hunting trip.

She hired three prominent experts in their fields to assist.

**** Cheney would lead them on the hunt.

Ted Kennedy would drive them back to their cabins each evening.

And Bill Clinton would entertain their wives and daughters.
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A peasant girl decided she wanted to go to the ball, so, her fairygodmother helped her out. She gave her the horse drawn carriage, evening gown, shoes and jewlery. She even gave her a magic diapragm, the only catch was that the diapragm would turn into a pumpkin at midnight. The peasant girl went happily on her way.

After many hours, about 5AM the peasant girl finally came home wearing a big smile on her face. The fairy godmother was irrate,"where have you been? Your diapragm should have turned into a pumpkin hours ago."

The peasant girl said,"it's ok, I met a handsome prince who took care of everything."

Her fairygodmother replied,"I don't know of any prince with such powers. What was his name?"

The peasant girl said,"I don't know, Peter Peter something or other...."
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Texas Gun Logic - I like the logic of those Texans.

A woman was called in front of a Texas grand jury for possible manslaughter charges after she shot a mugger 6 times in the back as he was running away with her purse.

He had grabbed the purse and ran.

She had her hand on the gun in the purse when he grabbed the purse and she was left with the revolver in her hand.

When asked by the grand jury why she shot the man 6 times in the back as he was running away, she replied under oath:

“Because when I pulled the trigger the 7th time it only went click.”
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Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Yellow Lab turned to the Chocolate Lab and said, "So why are you here?"

The Chocolate Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The Yellow Lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"

"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the Chocolate Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."

The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked "why are you here?"

The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch."

"So what are they going to do to you?" the Yellow Lab inquired.

"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too", the dejected Black Lab said.

The Black Lab then turned to the Yellow Lab and asked, "Why are you here?"

"I'm a humper," the Yellow Lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, and fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, the little old lady that owns me had just gotten out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away".

The Black and the Chocolate Labs exchanged a sad glance and said,

"So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

The Yellow Lab said, "No, I'm Here To Get My Nails Clipped."
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