Donation
Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this
Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'
'I can!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will.'
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ConfessionC2
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'
Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'
Man: 'What sins?'
Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'
Man: 'I'm Jewish.'
Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'
Man: 'I'm 92 years old .... I'm telling everybody!'
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Brothel Trip
An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.
'I'm 90 years old,' he says.
'90!' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?'
'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?'
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Senility
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.' 'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'
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Miss Sally Edwards is a highly esteemed third grade teacher at Centerville Elementary in Centerville, Texas. In an effort to prepare her students for the all-important Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills (TAKS) test, she compiled an exam consisting of 20 questions, which she administered to her class last Tuesday. The exam purposely covered a broad array of topics. I call your attention to question # 11, which simply read:
LIST, IN ANY ORDER, THE FOUR SEASONS: 1. ________ 2. ________ 3..________ 4. ________
Now, could you possibly imagine that 67% of the students gave the following answer?
1. DOVE SEASON 2. DEER SEASON 3. DUCK SEASON 4. SQUIRREL SEASON
GOD BLESS TEXAS !!!
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