[cobra de capell]

Two preschool boys were overheard talking together on the playground.

One said to the other: "My dad is a plumber. What does your dad do?"

"Mine is a politician."

"Honest?"

"No," the child replied. "Just a regular one."
_____

Subject: Facts

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have
produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly
seems worth it)

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more
like it)

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to
be a pig) (How'd they figure this out, and why?)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Still can't get over that pig thing) (Don't try this at
home...maybe at work?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for
pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) (And pigs get
30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous do you split the
difference?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its
own weight and always falls over on its right side when
intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...?) (Did taxpayers
pay for this research??)

Polar bears are left-handed. (Who knew? Who cares? How'd they
find out, did they ask them?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on
the bottom of the pond?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...can you
imagine?? And why pigs?)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it
starves to death. (Creepy)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is
attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the
male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the....) (Well, at least
pigs get a break there...)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I still
want to be a pig ... quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, Geez) (That's almost as
bad as catfish)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people
like that.)

Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too.)

After reading all these, all I can say is............. Lucky
Pigs...
_____

Understanding Change
The buzzword now is 'Change'.

Politicians toss it around without saying what they want to change to.

Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant
Who inspected his Marines and told the 'Gunny' that the men smelled bad.

The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear.

The 'Gunny' responded, 'Yes, Sir. I'll see to it immediately.

' He went into the tent and said, 'The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad,
And he wants you to change your underwear.'

Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowskie, Brown, you change with Schultz..... Change, now, get on with it!'

The moral of the story:
Politicians may promise change in Washington , but the stink will remain.
_____

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her
full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the
corner. The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach.
Locking his steely gray eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her,
his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft
murmurs of assurance.

He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly
released her from her constraining attire. With a sigh of
surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare
flesh. He expertly guided her through this tender, new territory,
boldly taking her to heights she had never dared to dream of, his
movements deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her
every need.

Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire that had
gone unfulfilled for so long.

And, just as it seemed that ecstasy was within her grasp, he
paused, and for one heart-stopping moment, she thought, "It's too
big! - it will never fit!" Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into
place as if it had been made only for her. As pleasure and
contentment washed over her, she met his steady gaze, tears of
gratitude shining in her eyes. And he knew it wouldn't be long
before she returned. Oh, yes, this woman would want more. She
would want to do it again and again and again............

Don't ya just love shopping for shoes!