Dude, can't help you with the ride, but AAA is invaluable for this. Unfortunately, they've started enforcing the 4 free services, but used for towing, it's still a great value.
What do you mean by "wet" all over? With
oil? Or with water/coolant? And what happened just before this? Was it just started, cruising along, or did you stomp on it?
Check coolant and see if it bubbles when you crank it, or if coolant in
oil. Would be a blown head gasket.
More details and we can help identify the problem.