Ok buddy, I'm with you. As for the loose shifter bolts - been there twice. The first time it was the top bolt that worked its way out and I used some wire to tie it up and continue to the nearest hardware store. The second time, the shift handle actually broke across the bolt hole. I had shortened the handle by grinding a flat section above the old top hole and drilling a new one. There wasn't enough meat left and the darn thing broke right off in the middle of an upshift. Luckily I had visegrips in the toolbag and that became my shifter for the rest of the afternoon.
Looked pretty trick actually - if you squinted and tilted your head just right, it kinda looked like a lenco or some other fancy drag setup.