Not Ranked
Q: What does one say to a Democrat in a three-piece suit?
A: “Will the defendant please rise?”
Q: How many Democrat does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They just steal someone else’s light.
Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.
Liberals are like seagulls: all they do is squawk, eat crap and are protected by the government.
In honor of its bailout by the Democrats Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton.
The Dodge Draft will begin production in Canada this year.
A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.
After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center’s director that he was an acceptable candidate.
“That’s great!” the executive said. “But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive.”
“Yes, sir, it can,” the director replied. “An ounce of accountant’s brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist’s brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president’s is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat’s brain is seventy-five thousand dollars.”
“Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat’s brain? Why on earth is that?”
“Do you have any idea,” the director asked, “how many Democrats we would have to kill?”
Q: Why did God create Democrats ?
A: In order to make used car salesmen look good.
Q: What is a recent Democrat graduate’s usual question in his first job?
A: What would you like to have with your french fries, sir?
Q. How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it really gets screwed.
What’s the difference between a Democrat politician and a leech?
A leech quits sucking your blood after you die.
What’s the difference between a Democrat and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
Because deep down, they’re really good people.
What’s black and brown and looks good on a Democrat?
A Doberman
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