While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.
Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President. The old rancher said, “Well, ya know, Obama is a “post turtle.” Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a “post turtle” was. The old rancher said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a “post turtle”.
The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor’s face, so he continued to explain. “You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dumb ass put him up there.”
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Ben & Jerry’s is showing its support for the historic legalization of gay and lesbian marriage by changing the name of its popular Chubby Hubby ice cream to “Hubby Hubby” in Vermont.
No Kidding
Chubby Hubby/”Hubby Hubby” features fudge covered peanut butter-filled pretzels in vanilla malt ice cream rippled with fudge and peanut butter.
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Ten year old Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream...when his mother enters the kitchen.
She says, “Put that away Johnny. You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.”
Johnny whimpers and says, “There’s no one to play with.” Trying to placate him, she says, “OK. I’ll play with you. What do you want to play?”
He says, “I wanna play Mommie and Daddy.” Trying not to register surprise, and to further appease him, she says, “Fine, I’ll play. What do I do?”
Johnny says, “You go up to the bedroom and lie down.” Figuring that she can easily control the situation...Mom goes upstairs.
Johnny, feeling a bit cocky, swaggers down the hall and opens the utility closet. He dons his fathers old fishing hat. As he starts up the stairs he notices a cigarette butt in the ashtray on the end table. He picks it up and slips it in the corner of his mouth. At the top of the stairs he moves to the bedroom doorway.
His mother raises up and says, “What do I do now?”
In a gruff manner, Johnny says, “Get your butt downstairs and get that kid some ice cream!”
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