[cobra de capell]

Court Orders Recount of Olympic Bid – Polls to Remain Open

Copenhagen – An International Criminal Court judge has ordered that the International Olympic Committee (IOC) resume counting in the selection process for the host city of the 2016 Summer Olympic Games. Judge Enrique Castro, appointed to the court last year by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and nephew of the Cuban President Raul Castro, ordered a stunned IOC to resume vote counting late Friday.

Judge Castro issued an emergency injunction after receiving multiple complaints of voter disenfranchisement by community activist groups Community Organizers International (COI), the Organization of American States (OAS) and Hezbollah.

COI chairwoman Valerie Jarrett voiced her organization’s approval of the judge’s decision. “As anyone who watched this charade being played out on television can plainly see the underprivileged were not well represented in this voting process. We have asked the court only for what is fair – that we be allowed to chose a diverse, multicultural pool of voters to balance the ‘white out’ that apparently dominates IOC voting.”

Hezbollah spokesman Islamic Rage Boy added that “There appears to have been a deliberate attempt by some cities not directly associated with Islam to exclude us from this process. We are very surprised by Madrid’s refusal to withdraw. I thought they learned their lesson in 2004. Oh, and death to all who oppose us. Peace be with you. The Jooos are to blame.”

No one from the IOC was immediately available for comment. One senior IOC official speaking on the condition of anonymity said that the IOC is in turmoil right now at this unprecedented turn of events. “No one has ever seen such chaos. Every voting member was in the room and all the votes had been counted. The judge’s order made no sense until a truck arrived and people started unloading boxes of ballots. They went straight to the counting table. I couldn’t believe it.”

Our sources verified the existence of several empty boxes at the IOC headquarters with a return address in Minnesota but were unable to confirm that the votes arrived in these containers.